James 3

2 For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is mature, able also to control the whole body.

3 Now if we put bits in the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we direct their whole bodies.

4 And consider ships: though very large and driven by fierce winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.

5 So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how a small fire sets ablaze a large forest.

6 And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among our members. It stains the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Reading this makes me want to keep my mouth shut for the rest of my life. But, as I see it, the tongue is not the problem. Jesus said, “For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.” (Matthew 12:34b) There is a deeper problem.

I come from a funny family. There is always a punch line or a quick-witted remark coming from us and, of course, lots of laughter. If one of our family members passes away, there is often laughter at the funeral. It’s the way we are.

As one who has grown and lived with my family and as one who loves classic sitcoms, I find myself always having a remark or side comment to bring a bit of joviality to any situation. I found it a great help at only certain times when dealing with tense situations in the hospital when I served as a chaplain. It broke the ice, often endearing me to the people I was serving.

However, I have also found that those quick-witted, side comments can hurt people. Though it may be unintentional on my part, it can punch like a fist. Chuck Swindoll says, “The casual sarcastic or critical remark can inflict a lasting injury on another person.”[1]

I am painfully aware, as I look back, at what damage I may have caused. I am learning to think before I speak and hold my tongue when a sarcastic remark could do more harm than good.

This calls for surrender to God. We give Him our hearts, not just our tongues. When I served as a chaplain, I often prayed before seeing a patient, “Lord, give me words when I need them, and silence when I don’t.”

The lips of the righteous feed many…  (Proverbs 10:21)

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[1] Swindoll, Living Insight